What the hell do I know? 2008 edition

Last year I made some predictions about how the baseball season would go. I thought the Yankees would win the A.L. East and the Red Sox would win the Wild Card; flip those two. I had the Indians winning the Central; they did. I blew the West, picking the A's over the Angels. Whoops.

In the N.L., I picked the Mets to win the East, with the Phillies close enough behind them to win the Wild Card. Well, that almost happened, except the Mets decided to take September off, stumbling to a bizarre finish that left them a game behind Philadelphia and two games out of the Wild Card. Ah well. In the Central, I admitted I had no idea and threw a dart at the Astros. Yikes. They went 73-89, finishing 12 games behind the Central champion Cubs. In the West, I picked the Padres, who finished a game out, but that was only good enough for 3rd place. The D-Backs and Rockies tied, with Colorado going in as the Wild Card.

So now you know not to listen to me.

But what the heck, let's try again.

AMERICAN LEAGUE
A.L. East: As a Yankee fan I have no choice but to pick the Bombers. Both teams have some question marks in their rotations, but the Yankees have the better offense - let's not forget they led MLB with 5.98 runs per game last year, while the Red Sox were 4th (5.35), behind the Phillies (5.51) and Tigers (5.48). The Yankees gave the Sox a two-month head start and finished 2 games behind the Red Sox; this year it's the Sox starting with injury problems in their rotation. So, I'm taking Yankees followed by the Wild Card-winning Red Sox. I think the Rays and Jays will battle it out for third and the Orioles bring up the rear.

A.L. Central: Wow, people really love the Tigers. They may score 1,000 runs. They won't - but when you consider their pitching staff, will 1,000 runs be enough? It's possible the Tigers slug their way to 90 wins, and maybe that's enough to win the Central, but maybe not. I'll take the Indians again, followed by the Tigers, then the White Sox and Royals, with the Twins dropping to last place.

A.L. West: Well, even I've been convinced not to pick Oakland this year. I still hate the Angels, but the Rangers are such a screwed-up organization I just can't pick them. Every year they whine about pitching and every year they go out and trade for... batters. Nice. I know the Mariners won 88 games last year, but that was a fluke; on the other hand, they added Erik Bedard. Let's call it even and say they win 88 games again, which I don't think will be enough. So, Angels, Mariners, Rangers, A's.

A.L. Awards: Even though I'm picking the Yankees to win the East, I'll give the MVP to Manny Ramirez as he carries the battered Red Sox to the Wild Card with a ridiculous September, and give the A.L. Cy Young to, what the hell, Erik Bedard, though the Mariners come up short of the playoffs.

NATIONAL LEAGUE
N.L. East: They're bedeviled by injuries at the moment but I can't see the Mets collapsing again. They should post the best record in the N.L. I'm thinking the Braves will finish just ahead of the Phillies but comes up a few games short of the Wild Card. The Nationals are closer to 3rd than to last, but that still leaves them in 4th. The Marlins bring up the rear again.

N.L. Central: Same ol' same ol' out here. The Cubs have some more bats to go with their pitchers and should repeat as Central champs. Everybody else in this division is playing for .500. I'll throw them up in the air and say, Brewers, Reds, Cardinals (what's the over/under for the date of Albert Pujols's season-ending elbow injury?), Astros, Pirates, but who cares.

N.L. West: This is a tough division; you can make a case for anybody except the Giants, who might be the worst team in baseball. Arizona and San Diego have great pitching, Colorado has a good offense and Los Angeles has a little of each. I think the Rockies hang around for awhile but can't keep up; that leaves three teams battling it out for two spots. I think the Diamondbacks come out ahead, and then let's make Joe Torre happy and say the Dodgers get the Wild Card - of their last 13 games, 10 are against the Pirates and Giants, and three are home against San Diego. That leaves the Padres sulking in third place, the Rockies in fourth and of course the Giants last.

N.L. Awards: Mediocre A.L. pitchers look good when they go to the N.L.; how is Johan Santana going to look? But I work with too many pessimistic Mets fans, who have convinced me he'll break down sometime in August. Let's say Brandon Webb takes his second Cy Young in three years, and David Wright wins the MVP.

POST-SEASON
A.L. Playoffs: Yankees over Indians (no bugs this time), and Red Sox over Angels. Yankees over Red Sox in the another 7-game classic.

N.L. Playoffs: Mets over Dodgers; DBacks over Cubs. DBacks over Mets in 6.

World Series: Finally, revenge for the 2001 World Series. Yankees in 6.

Why does anyone care?

Maybe it's a good sign that there's so little drama in Yankeeland this year - what, no one cares any more if A-Rod and Jeter still have sleepovers? - that the biggest story out of spring training is that Billy Crystal is going to suit up and play in tomorrow's game against the Pirates.

When I first heard this, I was like, "whatever." And then I heard people calling WFAN and ESPN Radio and whining about how horrible this was, what a sacrilege, what an insult to the game, and I thought about what they were saying, and I was like... "whatever."

Is it hatred of Billy Crystal or hatred of the Yankees or just general pissing and moaning in general that has convinced anyone to care about this? Spring training is just that, training. The games don't count. They play college teams and split squads and minor leaguers with numbers you normally only see on wide receivers.

And why hate on Billy? It's going to be his new best day.



I wonder how many of these same idiots complaining about one game with Billy Crystal remember that Garth Brooks did this -- in three spring trainings! -- including going 0-for-17 with the Mets in 2000. Somehow that's not an insult to the game, because, uh... Garth is a big star? I dunno. Hell, George Plimpton did this 40 years ago and wrote a book about it. And do I even have to bring up Michael Jordan?

If it's OK for Yankees to pretend to act, it's OK for actors to pretend to be Yankees.



Look, the bottom line? If Billy Crystal playing in a meaningless spring training game makes you mad, maybe you oughtta try hitting a pillow.

There are no words...

OK, maybe two: Thanks, Brett.

This isn't about sports, but...

I'm sure everyone has seen this commercial by now.



Now, does anyone else watch this commercial and identify more with the geeks than the cool kid, "Chad"?

When Chad says, "So what level Dungeon Master are you guys?", I said "Dungeon Masters don't have levels" at the same moment they did!

I guess whoever made this commercial has figured out that geeks are cool now, because they've turned the geeks into wiggers.



Yeah, that's not too played.

A lot of people I ask about the "dungeon master" commercial know it's for a cell phone, but they either don't know which one or think it's for Verizon. It's actually for Alltel. But considering how stupid the commercials are, maybe it's better that people are confused.