A dumb idea... that keeps getting dumber

I root for the New Jersey Devils -- but, to be honest, I'm not really much of a hockey fan. I won't tune out on the rare occasion they start talking hockey on sports talk radio. Every once in awhile I'll watch a game on TV or read an article in the paper to see how they're doing. Like most casual hockey fans, I really don't pay much attention until the playoffs start.

All that said, it is a lot of fun to watch a hockey game in person. On TV, it's hard to get an idea for just how big those guys are, and how fast they're going, and what happens when they slam into each other. The fact that they're doing all that while trying to hit a little piece of rubber into a net is just astounding. And the fans are great. I don't know why hockey is the only sport to have figured out that people shouldn't be allowed to return to their seats while there's something happening in the game. Just stand there in the aisle until the ref blows a whistle, OK? Maybe if you sip some of your beer you won't wind up spilling half of it on my shoes.

And now that the Devils are moving from their current home in the Meadowlands, I might be going to more games. But I'm probably the only one. The Devils are moving to Newark, perhaps the dumbest idea in hockey since the Indianapolis Ice signed Manute Bol.

Newark is not exactly a hotbed of hockey fandom. Anybody can be a hockey fan, but let's face it, hockey is primarily a sport watched by white people. As has been said many times before, "the only thing black is the puck." According to the 2000 Census, whites make up about 26 percent of Newark's population -- most of them being 80-year-old grandmothers. Not exactly the NHL's target demographic.

Now, it is true that there will be more hockey fans within walking distance of the Newark arena than there were at the Continental Airlines arena. That is because the Continental Airlines arena is literally in a swamp. The only way to get there, if you don't have a car, is by bus... or canoe.

But the three hockey fans living in Newark aren't going to fill the new arena, so they know they're going to have to get all those white guys, with their 12-year-old sons in Brodeur jerseys, to drive from the suburbs to Newark to go to hockey games. Now, weren't these the same dads who weren't driving to the Continental Airlines Arena? Why are they suddenly going to drive to Newark? Oh wait, I know -- it's because everybody loves driving in Newark. Yes, there are more mass transit options available in Newark than there are in the Meadowlands, but no matter how many trains and buses are available, most people will still prefer to drive.

How do I know people won't go to Devils games in Newark? Because Newark already has a professional sports team that nobody goes to: The Newark Bears of the Atlantic League. The Bears have had some notable players over the years -- Rickey Henderson, Jose Canseco, Hensley "Bam Bam" Meulens. They won their league championship in 2002. Yet the team never draws huge crowds, as do other Atlantic League teams located in the 'burbs. They supposedly have to draw about 4,000 fans a game to break even. They don't.

As if all this wasn't bad enough, the Star-Ledger reported today that, once they move to Newark, the Devils are going to double the price of their best season tickets.

Are they kidding?

Maybe they're just so clueless that they think they can charge whatever they want and the place is going to be packed to the rafters anyway. Or maybe they realize they're going to have to squeeze every last penny out of the diehards who will show up in Newark.

Look, I hope the Devils sell out every home game and the Stanley Cup is paraded down Broad Street to throngs of screaming fans. But I can also see, after a few years of playing great hockey in front of an empty building, the Devils leaving New Jersey (and giving up one of the best sports team names in history), and we'll have to hear all those politicians whining about how they had no idea hockey in Newark would be such a failure.

Yeah, who could've predicted that?