Theme Team: The Swinging Johnsons

When I was a kid, a friend's father was going to throw away his copy of the Baseball Encyclopedia. (Pictured at right is the new version -- I'm talking the old school 1969 edition of "Big Mac.")

The book, which seems like an insufficient word to describe something that weighed more than 6 pounds, had seen better days. But the guy knew I was a baseball fan and he was going to throw it away anyway, so he offered it to me.

Some of the pages had turned brown from water damage, and the book had been left at the bottom of a closet or something, so it was misshapen -- a book shaped not like a rectangle but a parallelogram.

It was a thing of beauty.

More than 2,000 pages of players, from Babe Ruth to Moonlight Graham. It was great just to flip through it and look at all the awesome 19th century nicknames: "Death to Flying Things" and "The Little Steam Engine" and "The Only Nolan." For the next 10 years, this would be my primary source of historical baseball knowledge -- and, unfortunately, when I got the book it was already 10 years out of date, so this led to some gaps in my baseball knowledge. I'm still more familiar with Ducky Medwick and Johnny Mize than George Foster and Dave Parker.

From reading "Big Mac" I developed an interest in bizarre baseball players names, and then the idea of assembling a team based on some weird theme. The all-edible team, with Darryl Strawberry, Harry Colliflower and Bill Bean. The all-animal team, with Nellie Fox, Chicken Hawks and Steve Trout.

I think it's somewhat of a relief to know I'm not the only baseball nerd to have teams like this. (In fact, I'm convinced Theo Epstein was trying to assemble a team of Guys Almost Named Miller with Kevin Millar, Bill Mueller and I'm sure he was desperately trying to trade for Brian Moehler. Too bad Frank Millard died in 1892!) But even if no one else was interested by this, I still would be, so from time to time I will present a "theme team." You can either be amused by the theme team itself, or amused by the thought that someone would be amused by a theme team. Either way, be amused!

So here's my first entry, one of my all-time favorites, and actually, a pretty good team as theme teams go: The All-Johnson Team, aka The Swinging Johnsons.

Johnson is a very popular last name in baseball -- 101 guys with that last name have played in at least 1 game in the majors since 1871. If you are going to do a team of all guys with the same last name, you'd definitely want to grab the Johnsons. The Smiths have more quantity but not quality; the Robinsons have four Hall of Famers but little else; and as for Martinez, well, not yet, but check back in a few years.

So we'll go with Johnson, a surname shared by two Hall of Famers (one current, one future), a number of All-Stars and a number of solid every-day regular players. I only went with true Johnsons -- no Johnstons! I also tried to avoid one-year wonders.

Here's my 25-man roster for the Swinging Johnsons.

Batters:
C Charles Johnson (2000: .306/.379/.582 31 HR, 91 RBI). One of my favorite players, but he really had just this one good season. Had a cannon arm.

1B Nick Johnson (2006: .290/.428/.520 46 2B, 23 HR, 77 RBI). If he could only remain healthy. He set career highs in every category last year, but then broke his leg in one of the last games of the season. He's still out and isn't expected back until June. Nine months for a broken leg, Nick? Do you have the same doctor as Barbaro?

2B Davey Johnson (1973: .270/.370/.546 43 HR, 99 RBI). Did they have steroids in 1973? He hit 136 career HRs -- 43 in that one season.

3B Billy Johnson (1948: .294/.358/.446 12 HR, 64 RBI). There are actually a number of really good Johnsons who played third base, including Negro Leaguer and Hall of Famer Judy Johnson. Billy has been forgotten by history, but won four World Series rings with the Yankees and was an All-Star in 1947.

SS Howard Johnson (1989: .287/.369/.559 36 HR, 101 RBI, 41 SB). OK, we're sacrificing some infield defense here, but HoJo did have 273 career games at shortstop -- including 31 games this season, without making a single error. They can't give you an error if you don't touch the ball.

LF Bob Johnson (1939: .338/.440/.553 23 HR, 15 SB, 114 RBI). His nickname was "Indian Bob" but never played for Cleveland -- he was one-quarter Cherokee. A three-time All-Star who had a solid but unspectacular career. (A Trot Nixon/Paul O'Neill type.) His brother, Roy Johnson, played 10 years but didn't make the team.

CF Lance Johnson (1996: .333/.362/.479 9 HR, 21 3B, 50 SB, 117 R). Another one of my favorite players. "One Dog" never walked or struck out, just whacked line drives and ran like the wind. He led the league in triples for four consecutive years, an MLB record.

RF Spud Johnson (1890: .346/.409/.461 1 HR, 113 RBI, 18 3B, 43 SB). I'm always leery of taking 19th century players on these lists because their numbers are so out of whack, but how can I not take a guy named Spud?

DH Deron Johnson (1965: .287/.340/.515 32 HR, 130 RBI). Kind of a poor man's Troy Glaus -- lots of HRs, lots of Ks. Played first base, third base and outfield, but his best position was DH.

Bench:
C/1B/OF Cliff Johnson (1977: .297/.407/.584 22 HR, 54 RBI in 286 AB). One of those "What if?" guys -- never got 400 ABs in a season until he was 35.

2B Don Johnson (1945: .302/.343/.361 2 HR, 9 SB). You hear about guys who lost playing time to service in World War II, but here's a guy who didn't make the majors until 1943, as a 31-year-old, and then made the All-Star team twice. I'm not saying he sent flowers to Admiral Yamamoto or anything, I'm just saying, if not for the war, we'd have never heard of Don Johnson. Actually, to avoid all those Miami Vice jokes, we'll go by his nickname, "Pep."

OF Alex Johnson (1970: .329/.370/.459 14 HR, 17 SB, 86 RBI). Looked like a pretty good hitter for a few years. I don't know much about him, and my curiousity is all the more piqued by this intriguing nugget from his BR Bullpen page: "His emotional disability was at the center of one of the landmark cases in the early days of the players' union."

OF Reed Johnson (2006: .319/.390/.479 12 HR, 86 R). With Nick out, Reed arguably is the best active Johnson, though we'll see if Randy finds the fountain of youth again in Arizona. However, I've never really been all that impressed with this Johnson, whose primary ability seems to be getting hit with pitches (21 times last year!).

IF/OF Bob Johnson (1962: .288/.334/.416 12 HR, 9 SB). Not much of a hitter but we needed a utility guy. Bob played every infield position as well as a couple games in left field. Like a spare tire, a fire extinguisher or the Morning After pill, a light-hitting utility guy is the type of thing you need to have around, but never want to use. In fact, as befitting his status on our team as well as in real life, Bob won a World Series ring with the 1966 Baltimore Orioles without appearing in a post-season game.

Rotation:

RHP Walter Johnson (1913: 36-7, 1.14 ERA, 0.78 WHIP). You could pick almost any season from him. The astounding thing about his numbers from this season is that he pitched 346 innings -- and walked just 38 guys.

LHP Randy Johnson (1995: 18-2, 2.48 ERA, 1.05 WHIP). Well, with these two at the top of your rotation, how could you miss? Like the Big Train, you could take any one of about 10 seasons from the Big Unit. I chose the first of his five Cy Young years.

RHP Ken Johnson (1967: 13-9, 2.74 ERA, 1.09 WHIP). Struck out 178 guys in 197 IP in 1962, but five years later, 85 in 210. According to BR Bullpen, he's the only player in history to lose a complete game no-hitter. (Apparently, Andy Hawkins doesn't count because, as the visiting pitcher in a loss, he pitched only 8 innings.)

RHP Bart Johnson (1974: 10-4, 2.74 ERA, 1.13 WHIP). Threw back-to-back shutouts this season. Like Ken, was a big strikeout pitcher earlier in his career -- 153 Ks in 178 IP in '71, 91 Ks in 211.1 IP in '76. An undiagnosed injury, maybe?

RHP Jing Johnson (1917: 9-12, 2.78 ERA, 1.26 WHIP). Don't know why they called him "Jing" -- his real name was Russell. Don't get too excited about his ERA, as it was actually worse than league average (2.74) that year. He held out in 1920 when Connie Mack wouldn't give him a raise, and Mack told him to find another job if it would pay him better. He became a research chemist -- and held out for seven years!

Bullpen:
RHP Tom Johnson (1977: 16-7, 15 SV, 3.13 ERA, 1.36 WHIP). The closest the Johnsons come to a closer. Managers were still trying to figure out the whole closer thing in the 1970s: Tom pitched 146.2 innings in 1977, all in relief, for 16 wins and 15 saves. He was out of baseball after the following season, washed up at age 28.

LHP Earl Johnson (1947: 12-11, 8 SV, 2.97 ERA, 1.34 WHIP). Our lefty set-up guy, could also start if we need him -- he had 17 starts in 1947 (6 complete games and 3 shutouts), but also pitched 28 games in relief. Just 129 H in 142.3 IP, but I don't like the 65 K:62 BB ratio.

RHP Syl Johnson (1934: 5-9, 3 SV, 3.46 ERA, 1.11 WHIP). Our righty set-up man. Like most of these pre-WWII pitchers, Syl also started some games every year, but at this point in his career was mostly a reliever (34 relief appearances, 10 starts).

RHP Bob Johnson (1970: 8-13, 4 SV, 3.07 ERA, 1.22 WHIP). A swing-man with 26 starts and 14 relief appearances this year, but we'll use him in long relief. Our only true flamethrower in the 'pen (206 Ks in 214 IP in '70) and also our third Bob Johnson.

LHP John Henry Johnson (1980: 2-2, 4 SV, 2.33 ERA, 1.09 WHIP). Our one-out situational lefty.

RHP Si Johnson (1932: 13-15, 3.27 ERA, 1.24 WHIP). The mop-up guy/sixth starter. Si (short for Silas) had a long career in the N.L., with 272 starts and 220 relief appearances -- including 13 shutouts and 15 saves.

So that's the team. A very good offense, an excellent rotation and a so-so bullpen. I offer my apologies to Dan Johnson and Jason Johnson, two notable active Johnsons who didn't make the cut. Hopefully better things are to come. In the meantime, let's go Johnsons!