Seven losses in a row. The third-worst record in baseball, ahead of only the Kansas City Royals and the Washington Nationals.
There is one question going around Yankeeland at the moment.
The question is not: "Is it too soon to panic?" It's never too soon to panic! Have you ever heard Jerome from the Bronx? Now, I know you may think Jerome from the Bronx is not representative of all Yankee fans, or for that matter, representative of non-institutionalized people in general. However, I have it on good authority that Jerome from the Bronx is the nom de plume of Hank Steinbrenner.
The question is not: "Is the season over?" We're 6-1/2 games behind the Red Sox, 5 games under .500, 4 games out of the wild card. (Heh) But that is not the question. We all know the answer to that. For better or for worse, the season is not over. Yogi Berra was a Yankee, after all.
The question is not: "Who can save us?" We all know the answer to that. Oh wait, we already tried that? Good thing we still have the number for this guy.
The question is not: "Why is this night unlike all other nights?" Because for the last seven nights in a row, it's pretty much been the same night.
No, the question is: "Who can we blame?"
Blame Joe Torre. I wanted to fire Torre at the end of last season, so I'm the last guy to defend him. This team has always won despite Torre, not because of him. As the old saying goes, "Managers can't win games, but they sure as hell can lose them." Morris Buttermaker could do a better job. But you know what? Blaming Torre for doing what he's done for 12 seasons is ridiculous. It's like blaming Fredo. Torre is what he is and he does what he does.
Blame Mariano Rivera. I already defended Mo, although he sure didn't help his case last night. Still, how can you blame Rivera? He's had just two save opportunities. You want to say if he was the Mo of Old -- meaning, last year -- that we'd be 10-11 instead of 8-13? OK, fine. Feel better now?
Blame injuries. Yeah, it's Gene Monahan's fault! Hideki Matsui, Chien-Ming Wang and Mike Mussina have already spent time on the D.L.; Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Johnny Damon have already had to sit out a couple games. But of course, the biggest blow has been the loss of Carl Pavano. Alright, so we can blame injuries, but a) that sounds like whining, b) injuries happen to everybody and c) you can't fire injuries. Next!
Blame Brian Cashman. It didn't occur to me to blame Cashman but it has occurred to other people, and they make some interesting points. After all, Cashman apparently "had hand" this winter, getting to exorcise the roster of Steinbrenner must-haves like Randy Johnson and Gary Sheffield, and winning the fight to save Torre's job. It's rare to fire a general manager in the middle of the season, though, so Torre would likely go first, followed by Cashman after the season. (Not that Big Stein would fire Cashman -- he'd just make him serve out the remaining year on his contract as a "consultant," which probably means cleaning the pigeon poop off the giant baseball bat in front of Yankee Stadium.)
Blame A-Rod. No, I'm not kidding. I've heard people call sports talk radio stations saying Alex Rodriguez is the reason the Yankees suck. When A-Rod does good, the rest of the team does bad. (Or is it when the team does bad, A-Rod does good? I was never too good at imaginary causality.) Well, good news! A-Rod went 0-for-3 last night and is 1-for-10 in his last three games, so we must be winning again, right? Or, better yet: A-Rod is in a 1-for-10 slump, we can blame the last three losses on him!
No, there's only one person we can blame for this: Rosie O'Donnell. Damn you, Rosie O'Donnell! Ever since you announced you were quitting The View, Derek just hasn't been the same.
There is one question going around Yankeeland at the moment.
The question is not: "Is it too soon to panic?" It's never too soon to panic! Have you ever heard Jerome from the Bronx? Now, I know you may think Jerome from the Bronx is not representative of all Yankee fans, or for that matter, representative of non-institutionalized people in general. However, I have it on good authority that Jerome from the Bronx is the nom de plume of Hank Steinbrenner.
The question is not: "Is the season over?" We're 6-1/2 games behind the Red Sox, 5 games under .500, 4 games out of the wild card. (Heh) But that is not the question. We all know the answer to that. For better or for worse, the season is not over. Yogi Berra was a Yankee, after all.
The question is not: "Who can save us?" We all know the answer to that. Oh wait, we already tried that? Good thing we still have the number for this guy.
The question is not: "Why is this night unlike all other nights?" Because for the last seven nights in a row, it's pretty much been the same night.
No, the question is: "Who can we blame?"
Blame Joe Torre. I wanted to fire Torre at the end of last season, so I'm the last guy to defend him. This team has always won despite Torre, not because of him. As the old saying goes, "Managers can't win games, but they sure as hell can lose them." Morris Buttermaker could do a better job. But you know what? Blaming Torre for doing what he's done for 12 seasons is ridiculous. It's like blaming Fredo. Torre is what he is and he does what he does.
Blame Mariano Rivera. I already defended Mo, although he sure didn't help his case last night. Still, how can you blame Rivera? He's had just two save opportunities. You want to say if he was the Mo of Old -- meaning, last year -- that we'd be 10-11 instead of 8-13? OK, fine. Feel better now?
Blame injuries. Yeah, it's Gene Monahan's fault! Hideki Matsui, Chien-Ming Wang and Mike Mussina have already spent time on the D.L.; Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Johnny Damon have already had to sit out a couple games. But of course, the biggest blow has been the loss of Carl Pavano. Alright, so we can blame injuries, but a) that sounds like whining, b) injuries happen to everybody and c) you can't fire injuries. Next!
Blame Brian Cashman. It didn't occur to me to blame Cashman but it has occurred to other people, and they make some interesting points. After all, Cashman apparently "had hand" this winter, getting to exorcise the roster of Steinbrenner must-haves like Randy Johnson and Gary Sheffield, and winning the fight to save Torre's job. It's rare to fire a general manager in the middle of the season, though, so Torre would likely go first, followed by Cashman after the season. (Not that Big Stein would fire Cashman -- he'd just make him serve out the remaining year on his contract as a "consultant," which probably means cleaning the pigeon poop off the giant baseball bat in front of Yankee Stadium.)
Blame A-Rod. No, I'm not kidding. I've heard people call sports talk radio stations saying Alex Rodriguez is the reason the Yankees suck. When A-Rod does good, the rest of the team does bad. (Or is it when the team does bad, A-Rod does good? I was never too good at imaginary causality.) Well, good news! A-Rod went 0-for-3 last night and is 1-for-10 in his last three games, so we must be winning again, right? Or, better yet: A-Rod is in a 1-for-10 slump, we can blame the last three losses on him!
No, there's only one person we can blame for this: Rosie O'Donnell. Damn you, Rosie O'Donnell! Ever since you announced you were quitting The View, Derek just hasn't been the same.
1 comment:
Hey, looks like we found our scape goat! And the winner is...
The Yankees have fired director of performance enhancement Marty Miller, who was in his first season in charge of the strength and conditioning program. General manager Brian Cashman made the decision to fire Miller after Phil Hughes became the fourth player in six weeks to pull or strain a hamstring.
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